Sweet Cause: Real Women, Real Stories

I am grateful that today’s guest poster decided to share her story. ¬†Each woman who has suffered through domestic violence has a story to tell, something to share, something that might help another woman in a similar situation.

If you’d like to share your story {anonymously is totally OK}, please contact me!

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Almost 11 years ago, I chose to get out. I was 22, with two sons, both toddlers at the time.

I had spent the previous 7 years with a man who abused me. Not every day. Some days were great.

But, the bad days, they were some of the worst days as a young mom, I would experience in my life. The abuse didn’t stop while pregnant with either of my sons, it happened less frequently, but still occurred.

I just tried my best to protect my unborn children and fortunately enough they were born physically unharmed.

I still wonder if the articles I’ve read about their mental well-being (while in-utero) is a constant effect on them without knowing what they would’ve been like without that trauma.

I did have my children in the beginning, but as a young mom, who stayed home, I had no income & no support system. I caved the first time my children’s father asked to see them & it went on that way, until we were sharing custody.

It was easier to parent with him helping & just “live” with him around with our sons growing & needing their father.

Moving on, I have had my fair share of dating, relationships, and even a failed 2 year marriage. I had several years of on/off therapy & self-help books to get me to a place where I could finally understand abuse & what I had become because of it.

I had landed a great job, found my independence, & I shared my life with two amazing little boys. Life was good!

4 years ago, my life changed again. I met the man who would become my husband & the father of my third child. A daughter. The game of life changed having her.

I’m so much more aware of how I want to raise her so she will never have to experience ANY of the physical & emotional pain, heartache, & emotional scarring that I have had in my life.

My sons are now 14 & 12. I’ve tried to educate them on DV & all that it means. It’s hard knowing they may have some genetic strand that will cause them to be angry & possibly violent someday.

I want them to be good husbands & fathers. They know some bits & pieces of the things their father has done. Unfortunately, they overlook it & continue to be his greatest fan.

This past year, they’ve even chosen to live with him, as I moved 5 hours away. I’m at peace with what I’ve taught them & helped create with them.

I can only hope that they someday realize the flaws of their father, if only to learn from & not become that man.

So, now, I am a stay-at-home mom again, to a little 2 year-old girl. I have found a great man. A man that provides for us, loves his daughter more than seems humanly possible, & takes care of me.

It took a lot to get here. But I did. The emotional scars fade more everyday & luckily the physical scarring is gone.

There were many days I wondered if I would ever find someone to love me, with all the baggage (emotional & physical) that came along with being my partner, but I did.

I encourage all victims of Domestic Violence to heal & accept love again. It isn’t all going to be the horrible way you may remember.

There are good, kind, & REAL men out there, that would never abuse a woman, in any form. Be patient & willing to find them and also receptive if they happen to find you!

I am hoping to find a good organization either locally or nationally to start to volunteer for and try to help through speaking or some type of outreach program.

On a side-note, I wished to keep my name out of this post only to protect my sons.